Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!! take the time to read the Gospel of Luke..like the first couple chapters and think about the birth of our Savior, He is the reason for the season! :)

Hey to the internet! it's been like three months since i've posted anything. So I guess I should fill in some of the things that have happened.

First off, teen retreat. On October 3,4,and 5, me and a bunch of other young teenage companions from my church and from others, endured the cold at the NWOCYC church camp. I got there late because a had a football game I had to be at. After it was over we attempted to get lost, lol, and found it in the middle of nowhere. Everyone was in the mess hall, mostly playing ping pong, and the adults were talking. First, I'd like to say, I've NEVER had so much hot chocolate in my life. It was like 40 degrees all weekend and colder at night. We settled in the bungalow, only two other girls i knew, since they were from my church. But the rest, total mystery. We had two space heaters, but the windows were open all night. So basically, for those who didn't bring many blankets, froze! fun! not! Next morning, considering I didn't sleep that well, I got up at 7 so I could see my hubbie before he went to work. Around 8 everyone else came in and we ate. We had a quick quiet time with God where we took a paper and went somewhere quiet to spend time with God. Then we went to chapel. We had the sermon by Brian Grubbs, played a game, then went back to the mess hall to eat. We had some free time afterwards. Me and Dinah explored for awhile while our friend Jacy slept. There were these awesome bridges that went over a ravine, and Dinah attempted to get me to go down a part of the ravine to the river. yeah, no thanks. but it was okay. Later Jacy joined us. They got into the craft stuff. I didn't think it was right to do that, so I decided to go spend time with God like I was planning on. I got my Ipod, and put on my playlist that has all of my inspirational songs, and songs that bring me in perspective of God. I walked around until I found the right spot. Which after ten minutes, turned out to be the girl's purple bridge. I got out my Bible, and started reading 1 Samuel. There was alot of times where I'd stop and listen to the music and think about it. The ravine was beautiful. and it just made you see God's beautiful work. And it was there. About 45 minutes before dinner, I went back to the bungalow to find Dinah and Jacy. They had a romance novel and were flipping to a random page and reading the first sentence they came to. It was quite humorous. Had dinner and then hung around until we went back to the chapel and Brian Grubbs spoke again. My hubbie came in again after work, and they did a small skit where like 6 people portrayed hatred, lust, greed,..... stuff like that. then Brian played satan and we had to speak out and make the decision to follow Jesus instead of the ways of the world. It totally was amazing to refresh your faith. After that, we went back for fire circle. We lit a fire, turned off the lights, and if we had anything to say we could stand up and say it. I said a bit, since it was my first time, and honestly, the trip helped me so much. I had been so far away from God for such a long time, and with school and all my other commitments it was hard to keep up and make time for God. We sang praise songs, and then went to bed. The rest, is history.

Anyway, I wanted to share that because I wanted to encourage other people to go on trips like that. They really are life changing and totally worth going. You'll have so much fun and you'll definitely learn more about Jesus.

On the other hand, I am:

-now participating in a community musical called Babes in Toyland.
- I quit show choir
-I'm learning how to crochet! :)
- Driver's ED
- my birthday is in two weeks!
-And I'm reading like 4 books at once!
I hope everyone has a safe and happy thanksgiving. Think about what you're thankful for. Honestly. It will make you realize there is so much in your life you take for granted. God blesses us with so much. His love for us overflows. Think about all the wonderful things in your life. You'll find there's more than one.

I think I may write a post on sexual purity. I was given the oppurtunity to talk to a younger girl about this topic and I'm hoping it will make an impression. There are too many girls who treat their virginity and sexual purity like....... crap. they give themselves to anyone who asks for them. Girls are worth so much than that. Aren't we worth more than jewels? yeha, that's scripture! anyway, feedback would be freaking amazing. if anyone wants me to post anything special, I'm up for it. thanks.

"In the book of life, the answers arent in the back" - Charlie Brown



......I missed the Charlie Brown special tonight!!!!!! :(

Diary.

i was thinking. you know how when we talk to God, we tell him EVERYTHING. even when he already knows! God wants to know everything. It's like talking to your friend you haven't seen at all over summer break. you have to tell them everything. and when things aren't going right or you need advice, you tell God exactly how you're feeling and ask for help. Well, I keep a diary. It's not very annual, but I do write down alot of the things that I don't tell other people. I write down things on my mind, my opinion, and things that go on. Well, we can tell our diary everything. And we tell God everything. or at least try to. So wouldn't God be like our own personal diary? except better? since He LOVES us, and talks and walks with us and cares about us more than anything on this earth or this universe. He is our protector and our teacher. Our father and our mother. Our friend and our leader. He created us! He isn't a pad of paper or a spiral notebook. Our notebooks can burn up or be destroyed. but God cannot! So why keep a diary when you can tell it all to God, and expect an answer? a diary cannot explain to you why things are going on in your life the way they are. they only give you a place to put your thoughts on paper and release some of your emotional tension inside. or something like that. the point is, why keep a diary when we can tell it all to God?

So I'm about to get on the bus to go to my first day of 10th grade. yeah, i know. I'm not looking forward to it. but at the same time I'm excited. It's a new year with new classes. And it will be so much better than last year. I hope you all have a great year!

Today is the last day of my summer.

tomorrow school starts. better make today count. i don't want to go back. if anything i'd rather be going to college, or going back to Tennessee to do mission work and be with Sabrina. She wrote me back and sent me a bracelet. I wear it every day. I pray this year will be as good as last years, just without the stress. I'm thinking of all you girls who also have to go back to school! relish the time you have, before you know it, it's gone. but take heart! only 182 more days until next summer!

so do you need a special thing or meaning to start a blog? can you just write random stuff? or do you have to write something of purpose?


anberlin's new single, the revised "feel good drag" is now on Itunes and amazon! go get it!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Haikus.

you know what? haikus have to be one of the easiest types of poems. The first and third lines are five syllables and the second is seven syllables. They are very simple and are mostly about nature. my significant other :) has written some of his own and i as well as my classmates have written them for language arts. They are fun to write as well! so i suggest trying them. I think I'm going to put some up here.

Mission.

July 17, 2008

On Sunday I left with fourteen other people to go to Nashville Tennessee on a mission trip. it took 8 hours. We stayed in dorms. To skip the small stuff, the first day we worked at a warehouse and stacked stickered and restacked beef stew, treet,(also known as spam). We worked from 9 to 2. The next day we worked at Y.E.S. it stands for Youth Encouragement Services. It really changed my life. All because of 51 kids ranging from 1 to 13. One girl, Sabrina, really changed me. I don't think I've ever had such a close friend that age. 9 years old and i could have a conversation with her that made sense. well kind of. we worked with kids on homework and played with them. The Y.E.S building is in the worst neighborhood in Nashville filled with drug dealers and crack houses. They told us domestic violence was everywhere and many of the kids there had to live with it. Another girl about 5 years old, named Passion, her parents are drug addicts. she lives with a foster parent three doors down from her parents. it was really terrible to hear all of it. but it was so great to be able to help these kids even in small ways and start friendships with these kids. i encourage anyone who reads this to go on a mission trip, no matter what you do, it will affect you.
anberlin released a new song today. www.myspace.com/anberlin. pictures? ill put some up.

-There's more to living than being alive

"Some will seek forgiveness, others escape"

This is a video I found on youtube. it's a series of video clips from "The Passion of the Christ". The song is "Some will seek forgiveness, others escape" by Underoath. This video affected me deeply. And I wanted to show those who stumble upon this blog because it could really change how you think. If you haven't accepted Christ's love yet, please let me know. I would love to help you. And tell you about His wonderful love. It's so amazing. It's beyond words. And it's the most important decision you will ever make. "Hey unloving, I will love you.."-lyrics from "Some will seek forgiveness, others escape. Are you ready to cross the line? Jesus is waiting for you. He is calling your name. All you have to do is listen. John 3 : 16 Romans 8:31-39 1 Corinithians 13

June 1st 2008

Today I was in church. and there was a baby in front of me. she couldn't have been more than a year old. She had her teeth for the most part. And still talked like a baby. She drooled alot and looked fascinated by any other person she saw. Such as me and my significant other next to me :) As I watched her, I thought back on what it was like to be an infant. What would it be like to step back into infancy? To be absolutely oblivious to the world, your world being the size of your playroom or backyard. Your only worries are the big dog who barks or where did mommy go? Innocence beyond belief. And I look back, and I wonder why there can't be more innocence in the world.

Graduation.

just finished Graduation for the class of 2008. We performed, we sang, we played pomp. those people, have changed me. and have influenced me greatly. I'm going to miss them, and nothing will be the same without them. I have a few graduation parties to go to. So, to anyone who reads this, and is graduating this year, graduated already, or is still waiting, and relishing the years you have left, take your time. Graduating isn't the climax. and it may seem like the best thing now, but once you reach it, you'll be longing to go back. Savor the time you have in school, and even though you may be going through crap right now, you'll look back and laugh about it later. Even though you're sick of homework and are begging for summer to come faster, endure. You're going to miss having homework every night instead of three page essays due in a week. not to mention your job, and all the other things you have to take care of. again, congratulations. Take time to savor this time. and love every moment. theyre so important.

May 7th 2008.

take a moment. and imagine.
think of one object you find outside.
always outside.
and imagine rain.
lots of rain.
pouring down under foggy gray skies.
millions and millions and billions of little rain drops.
hitting you. one after the other. constantly.
imagine looking up at the sky.
and watching all these drops fall onto you and the world around you.
how does it make you feel?
small?
indescribable?
sad?
thoughtful?
..wet?

-never alone

randomosities of life currently, and lonliness.

April 18th 2008





it's been four hours since I left the school. We had our next to last performance of Once Upon A Mattress. there has been alot of us who have just wanted to give up or get this musical done and overwith because we were so pressed for time. and it wasn't fun anymore. It was work, when acting is supposed to be fun. It may be a career, but you can still enjoy yourself in the process. you should enjoy the career you choose. not sit in a cubicle because you can't reach your dreams so why not just stay here and not reach for my dreams cause maybe, I won't reach them. and what happens if I don't? NEVER give up on your dreams just because you think you can't reach them. you can. have faith in God, and yourself. okay this is getting off track. I have been so busy, I have wanted it to be over. But now that I think about it, this is my last performance with some amazing people. the seniors this year, I've grown so close with and I haven't realized that after this, everything is going to be different. the entire music department is going to be flipped upside down. and us, the underclassmen, are going to have to step up, and fill in their spaces. I have had so many good times with these people, it will be hard to perform again without them. It hasn't sunk in, but when it does, it will feel like getting smacked in the face.





loneliness. what makes us lonely? why are we lonely? lonely!!!!!!!!!! Definition : adj. lone-li-er. lone-li-est."without companions. lone." (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/lonely) when we're lonely, it's normally cause we feel left out or because we're all alone. obviously. maybe someone that we want to be with is far away. or good friends are lost behind. maybe we are just seriously alone. or in a big place where we no noone besides ourselves. I've got to admit, being lonely isn't that bad sometimes. it does give some time to yourself and it makes you think or do things you've been meaning to do. but focusing on the main thing, lonliness. we feel like noone cares or that there's noone around. when really, we're never alone. okay this isn't making sense. when you're lonely, you tend to see the darker and more pessimistic side of things. you start to lose focus on the things that matter, and you may even start taking pity in yourself. I doubt anyone will read this, but if anyone does, (since i've just blabbed for 10 minutes about random things in loneliness) I would love to hear feedback about what you think of lonliness. I'll write more about it later. maybe it will make more sense. while you're at it, go to www.towriteloveonherarms.com. you'll be glad you did. if you know anyone who is suffering abuse, cutting, eating disorders, drug addiction, depression, and other problems, definitely click on the link above. :)

-she walked away

April 6, 2008

emerald fire like an auburn sky.
sapphire sunlight like a teal moon.
crystal clear rain clouds and a murky glass.
feet dangling off the edge.
looking over into the deep swirls of color.
looking up into the never ending sky.
how small to feel, and so great to be breathing.

3-27-08

It's 1 in the morning, and I don't want to go to bed. in a few hours I will be leaving with my mom and my closest friend and her mother to go on a three day trip to north carolina. I'm so excited. I don't travel very often, and when I do, I LOVE IT!!!!!! Traveling to new places is, just what it is. new. In the town, you see the same thing all the time. The only thing that changes is the number of potholes in the road or the billboards on the side of the road. Our town isn't small, but it really isn't big either. People in big cities seem so cool, not like, psh, I'm cool cause I'm cool, but cool because walking around and going to different places seems like a walk in the park. And nothing is a big deal. If you get mugged you know how to take care of it and get your money back without violence. But at the same time, there's this thing about them. They're always a step aheaad of other cities because they're so huge, and things aren't a luxery. Like all that expensive stuff. hmm. rambling again. Anyhow, we're going to Nags Head. which is on the outer banks. It's right by the ocean as well, so. There's something about the ocean, and the feel of towns by the ocean that just make you feel, like home. or that you're so free. and when you stand beside the ocean. The breeze blows through your hair. And you feel as if you're flying high above the water. like a bird. it's amazing. okay, I could probably go on about this, but I need to go to bed.

March 24,2008

Well, I guess this is my first blog. I doubt many people will read it, since the only people who would are the people who know me, and I know noone on here. I got a blogspot because of a particular singer, ehem. cough (stephen) cough. his blog has really made me think, and maybe I should express my thoughts as well. This isn't as deep as a first blog as it should be, but, maybe in time.