randomosities of life currently, and lonliness.

April 18th 2008





it's been four hours since I left the school. We had our next to last performance of Once Upon A Mattress. there has been alot of us who have just wanted to give up or get this musical done and overwith because we were so pressed for time. and it wasn't fun anymore. It was work, when acting is supposed to be fun. It may be a career, but you can still enjoy yourself in the process. you should enjoy the career you choose. not sit in a cubicle because you can't reach your dreams so why not just stay here and not reach for my dreams cause maybe, I won't reach them. and what happens if I don't? NEVER give up on your dreams just because you think you can't reach them. you can. have faith in God, and yourself. okay this is getting off track. I have been so busy, I have wanted it to be over. But now that I think about it, this is my last performance with some amazing people. the seniors this year, I've grown so close with and I haven't realized that after this, everything is going to be different. the entire music department is going to be flipped upside down. and us, the underclassmen, are going to have to step up, and fill in their spaces. I have had so many good times with these people, it will be hard to perform again without them. It hasn't sunk in, but when it does, it will feel like getting smacked in the face.





loneliness. what makes us lonely? why are we lonely? lonely!!!!!!!!!! Definition : adj. lone-li-er. lone-li-est."without companions. lone." (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/lonely) when we're lonely, it's normally cause we feel left out or because we're all alone. obviously. maybe someone that we want to be with is far away. or good friends are lost behind. maybe we are just seriously alone. or in a big place where we no noone besides ourselves. I've got to admit, being lonely isn't that bad sometimes. it does give some time to yourself and it makes you think or do things you've been meaning to do. but focusing on the main thing, lonliness. we feel like noone cares or that there's noone around. when really, we're never alone. okay this isn't making sense. when you're lonely, you tend to see the darker and more pessimistic side of things. you start to lose focus on the things that matter, and you may even start taking pity in yourself. I doubt anyone will read this, but if anyone does, (since i've just blabbed for 10 minutes about random things in loneliness) I would love to hear feedback about what you think of lonliness. I'll write more about it later. maybe it will make more sense. while you're at it, go to www.towriteloveonherarms.com. you'll be glad you did. if you know anyone who is suffering abuse, cutting, eating disorders, drug addiction, depression, and other problems, definitely click on the link above. :)

-she walked away

April 6, 2008

emerald fire like an auburn sky.
sapphire sunlight like a teal moon.
crystal clear rain clouds and a murky glass.
feet dangling off the edge.
looking over into the deep swirls of color.
looking up into the never ending sky.
how small to feel, and so great to be breathing.