heylo, I wish I had pictures to post on here. Our computer got a virus and thus caused our computer to be erased, and we haven't downloaded the software nor have I taken pictures either!
noos, news. knews.
I perform at blue fusion tomorrow, vvvvvverrry short notice.......
tomorrow I also turn 17! yayyyy............
sigh,... I feel like I never have anything of importance to say here anymore. I want to post all my art projects on my other blog, and it would be cool to post my knitting and crochet stuff here, but honestly, I have no will to take pictures. or take the time to load them all on here. I could tell you about Edgar Allen Poe, or my adventures to Teen Retreat, or the play I was just in, but, who wants to hear about that? or I could complain about my school. or talk about my faith. sigh,..... I don't know. someone message me with your opinions.

I feel so embarrassed for putting my blog up on Ravelry when I hardly post anything about knitting or crocheting!!!!!!! augh!! I've gotten more views than I have like, ever! and it really stinks, cause I'd like people to read my blog, but I'm so bad about keeping up with it, and never posting any pictures cause it takes forever to do that. So, gosh flab it! Um, I finally got Ana Paula's book!!! you know, Amigurumi World? AH mazing!!!!! I'm so excited. I've been trying to find it forever. and yet here it is at my local jo ann's!!!! who knew!!? Marching band season is in full swing. games every friday.um, so, yeah. I LOVE my art period. I have pictures. of some of my artwork, and seriously, a year without art has made me a better artist. Right now we are working on silhouettes where I'm drawing morning glories and Amy Brown Faeries. so pretty!!!! I'm also working on a crochet baby blanket for a woman at my church. so many people are having babies!! my cousin Rachel is having one too!! ahhh!!! I thought it would never happen!!! We are so excited. I've wanted to knit as well, but I'm so indecisive on what to make, and the fact that I'm not that good yet, doesn't help much. soo,..

It's been really cool lately cause during the summer I stopped writing in my prayer journal. Now that school has started, I write in it nearly every day. It's so nice to have God always involved in your life. He is seriously changing everything. It's so cool.

How many of you are confused about what college to go to? let me know, cause it's a stinkfest. I'll leave you with this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhVfeOAgmAw
I can't embed it, it does say the h- word at the beginning, but it is not a vulgar song at all. Hopeyou guys like it as much as I do.

hello, well,
-Started school tuesday
-going to join the marion knitting group
-...........whoever may read this, I'm asking for prayers, again. I'm struggling so much. Noone told me ahead of time that colleges look at your junior year the most!!! I'm overwhelmed and school's barely started. I'm distant from God, and can't seem to get out of this apathetic, feelingless, slump I've been in with Him since last Spring. My significant other, he is struggling, I'm struggling, together we are struggling, I don't know who to turn to, It would be awkward telling someone all my worries, of my so many. I don't know what to do. I know things will get better, in time. God always makes things better, no matter how long it takes, everything turns out right in the end. But how do I cope? How do I wait out not knowing the answers to some of my worries for another two years, until I'm married? How am I going to survive this year without having a nervous breakdown? I wish I knew all the answers, where God wants me turn, but I don't. I'm a human being, as you all now know. anyway, please, if you could pray for me, I would so, so, so, so, appreciate it. thank you guys.

I started a new blog. I'm going to make another one for Dorothy. anyway, my new blog is called Anchors and Lighthouses. I'm going to use it to display my artwork and hopefully get some positive feed back. I would like to be an art or design major, and I know God is leading me to where He wants me. It's so exciting. The waiting is hard, but it is definitely worth it. :)

I FINALLY CAN KNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone...... I have so much to say, of all my little adventures. and a ton of pictures. but those aren't coming today. Today, I ask, whoever may read my blog, I ask, please, pray for me. Pray for us. I want everything to be okay. I want all these worries and feelings to go away. wow, I think this may be my most raw post ever. Just, please do this for us. We are in God's hands now.

-He is the Truth, the Way, and the Life.

Little Mary had a well
and then one bleak day she fell
but no rock bottom she did find
an entire ocean as thick as wine
down, down, down she sank
deep inside this endless tank
she reaches out, for hands she seeks,
but anchors grow upon her feet
she sinks into the darkest cracks
seaweed surrounds her front and back
no light appears in this dark place
a saddened look spreads upon her face
what is to come? she thinks forlorn
my thread of life shall soon be torn
but alas dear Mary do not fret
a pair of fins your soon to get
and as she entered her deathful state
inside her heart life had a short time to wait.
don’t worry about Mary dear ,
she lives among the fish, no longer in fear
replacing her legs are rainbow scales
and on tuesdays she has tea with whales
a mermaid now you may see,
is Little Mary, her heart is free.

I've been back from camp for about, four hours now. There's so much to say and no time to do it. But now I'm leaving for Michigan tonight.

And I'm Gone Again...

So, Alive was amazing!!!! We saw Anberlin <33, House of Heroes, The Classic Crime, SuperChick, and RED, who were, by far, the awesomest show of the night!!!!! There was a TON, TON, TON of mud. but it was a good temperature and I didn't kill myself from all the jumping around and dehydration. We had long breaks in between bands, so it was all good. No getting sick this time!! But now, I have to go to church camp tomorrow afternoon. I'm still not done packing, though I'm about 90% done. I'll be gone all week. And then to Michigan Saturday!!! Hopefully this will be a good experience. I'm nervous girls will judge me since I'm going to be on my own for a day until my friend Dinah comes. I already get called granny enough because I crochet. It's annoying. And I'm worried that there's just going to be a ton of kids who don't care about God there. I hope to meet a friend who actually cares about God and is serious about being there. ah well.... it will be fun anyway. so see you guys in a week!!! I should have took more pictures at alive instead of just a bunch of pictures of the bands....sigh
bye!

hello everyone. Well, school's over. And I now have officially jam packed my summer. this is what I do all day

• Get up, watch TLC
• Crochet
• READ
• drive if I have to
• take care of my sister..
• sometimes draw
• read some more!!!!!
• and crochet some more!!!!!
• get up late, stay up late.

I just finished reading Ophelia by Lisa Klein. If you like Shakespeare and you like Hamlet, READ OPHELIA!!! it's soooooo amazing!!!!!

then, I have a summer reading list for 11th grade. I'm reading The Bell Jar and The Time Traveler's Wife. The Time Traveler's Wife is sooo good. It's a little adultly, but it's very good despite that. It can also be a little confusing, but if you keep reading it starts to make sense. I haven't decided on a third book yet. Tomorrow my boyfriend and I are going to Alive tomorrow in Canal Fulton. We get to see Anberlin, Superchick, and RED!!!!!!!! AHHH!!!! so excited!!! I'm a little worried about driving on the highway in such an unknown place, so keep us in your prayers. Then on sunday through Saturday I'm going to Church Camp for my first time!!!!! yay!!! immediately after church camp I have to go to michigan for a day, and then band starts on july 14th, then the 20th through the 25th I'm goin to Tennessee!!!! Yay!! I may even see Sabrina!!!! And somewhere.. could it be? back to North Carolina!!!????? eeek!!!! so much traveling I thought I wasn't going to be able to do!!!!! oh goodness!!!! well, I will update again, hopefully with pictures later. :) bye guys!!!

I don't mean to brag....but, I have officially gotten my DRIVER'S LICENSE!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!! and I got a perfect score. Which was a big shocker for me. Oh well, thankkk yoouuuuuuuuu!

The depthless mirror reflects her listless, haggard face. So many trials in life have placed blackened circlets under her restless eyes. She lookds into the abyssmal window facing her. She sees the cold darkness of the bitter night. Violent screams ricochet through her mind. "Give up" they cry. Her vicious demons place doubt within her heart. Millions of scattering thoughts seep to her eyes. "What should I do?" she thinks to herself. The doubt clinchers her heart with a firm vice. "What am I to become?" She looks once more intot the dismal window. Her eyes meet with what should be her reflection. Silently, she whispers, "Elohim."

heylo! Here to update. School's almost over! Yus! Harry Alexander was Thursday too. It was nice to see my friends from hither and yon and make music with them. Me and my friends Luke and Craig made this in World History about two weeks ago.

Aren't they awesome? Mine are mostly the ones on the right. Craig's is the winged Knight angel mabob, and the big demon at the top. Luke's is the demon hunter symbol, the wolf, burger man, and hanging grim reaper. Since then I've been drawing ALOT more. Since I didn't have art this year, my creativity level has been at an all time low. But now I'm drawing again, and I have to say, they're getting better and better. I'll post pictures soon. But, one example is this one that I drew for a project a few months ago. It was a movie poster based off the book I was reading, "Pretties" by Scott Westerfeld. Which by the way is AMAZING so go read it! You will get just as hooked as with any Twilight book! I've yet to read that... anyway, here it is.

I'm also taking my driver's test this Saturday! so prayers would be helpful! I'm a little worried. Oh plus I get to tour RadioU! Which is like a dream come true for me! I've also mastered the art of using tiny hooks for crochet. My grandmother made a beautiful bracelet, and I've figured out the pattern so I'm going to pass it on. I need to make money somehow! Hopefully you guys will like them. Lastly but not leastly, I have a new friend. Her/his/its name, is. Dorothy.

Isn't Dorothy awesome? I'll try to keep her adventures up to date on here. See ya!

Hello noone.
I'm just here to update. Let nobody listening know that I've discovered this amazing band, called Brightwood. look them up. they're amazing.
do you know, how hard it is to watch your friends do something stupid.
you want to save them from the pain.
but you can't.
you can't.
you just watch them be so oblivious. so flipping happy. and act like there's nothing wrong.
that what you said had no impact.
that it doesn't matter if he's a bad guy for her.
she's going to love him anyway, and not take heed to what you warn.
am I wrong to have an opinion?
is it wrong that I'm so angry?
I'm so tired of coming home and moping in my room for hours trying to stop thinking about yelling and screaming at her.
how I want it all to go away.
How I don't want people to hate me just because I don't agree.
I haven't done anything wrong.
except state my opinion.
is that wrong?
if any of you are reading this, please, please, pray for me.
I can't take this anymore. and I need God's help.
thank you.
...on the plus side, my negativeness has inspired some depressing poetry!!!!


death and decay,
my skies are gray,
and gone is the day,
everything was okay.

Crochet chickie!
(Paperthin)

Its so close to Easter.

Its so close to Easter. and i am beginning to realize what my Savior did for me. and i have never been thirstier for the word.

"Sister, don't you sleep through your own eulogy. Don't sever what you are for what you couldn't be."-Thorns, by Demon Hunter











........that's how I've been feeling recently. There is a girl at my school, and she's so perfect. She participates in everything known to man, every club, cheerleading and music, gets straight A's. and still is very close with God. I get so jealous of her. I feel so bad about myself because I can't do everything she can. I mean, I used to be apart of alot of the things she's still in, and I was pretty good, but, she still is so much better. She sings better than me, dances better, acts better, treats everyone so nicely. You don't really see anything wrong with her. but, I compare myself to her so much that I feel like there is nothing special about me, that I can't do anything right, and maybe I should change my life and priorities so I can be more like her. I forget how much God truly loves me. I'm sure alot of other girls have felt this way too, am I right? well, this is a misconception. NOONE. and I mean NOONE. is perfect. The only perfect person to ever live is Jesus Christ. Noone can live up to Him, no matter what we do. We can never be perfect. Now, about comparing yourself to other girls. First, comparing yourself is worthless, pointless, useless, and all it does is hurt you and make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone's life is different. We are all meant for and to do different things. Some are meant to stay busy and focus on schoolwork. others are meant to focus on relationships that will last a lifetime. hehe. like me, I invest my time in my relationship because that is what God wants. Yes, God wants me to enjoy other things in life, but He has provided some for me to do. Things I can do at home that won't take up as much time like going to musical or show choir practices. like I used to. I don't lose my sanity as much, and stress and drama have become a thing of the past. anyway, pardon my ramblings. God has a special purpose for you in this life that only YOU can fulfill. Don't trap yourself in the thorns of your self doubt and negative thoughts. Rely on the Savior who gave you the life you have, and live it for HIM.



last performance tonight. Singin' in the Rain!!!!! yay!

SCIENCE FAIR IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got a superior, thank you God :)
um, I wanted to show everyone what I'm working on, I guess if I had pictures, more people would look at my site, so here goes. isn't this squishy jellyfish cute? I made him a month or so ago. My first amigurumi. Yay. the cake, me and my hubby made cakes with each other on Valentine's day. We made the vanilla cake pink and made strawberry icing. We wrote little messages to each other :)
the purple thingy is a shawl I'm making. and the bunny, he's a bunny :)
I made a few other things, but I'm new to the picture thing and I'm too lazy to go take a picture. Hope everyone is doing well. God bless! If possible pray for my friend Ashley. She went into the er, from constant puking and imbearable pain. So pray for her please! thank youuuu!

Language Arts paragraphs, dreams, books, and song.

A young, adventurous woman stands nervously on the mishapen, rugged cornerstone on the empty, grassy plateau. The vast, emerald valley surrounds her and immerses her mind. Her soft, shady blue jacket tied around her waist. It is a comfort of home she spared to bring. The sun burns down on her sweating neck. Her jacket full of the things needed for the journey. Anxiously she stares at the green, brown, and rocky abyss beneath her exhausted feet. For a quick moment, she longs to turn back and race toward what she used to know, but regretfully, and mournfully, she cannot. She looks down, into the rough,jagged side of the rock walls beneath and around her. Suddenly, she spots a gloomy figure, draped in black so not to be seen leaving the loamy countryside. He rides along the crashing white waters of the river snaking through the deep valley. He stops sharply, pulls out the red tube of fire and pulls the trigger. A marveling display of fireworks zooms and spreads through the clear ocean of sky facing her. The colorful display signals, and calls to her. She takes on final, deep, cleansing breath as if she was performing a cannonball for her friends at the pool down at the park on Main. "It's now or never.." Her bright eyed mind screams to shove her off the crumbling ledge. The dismal world becomes as silent as the moon and stars. She falls and hurdles towards the earth. She fought and escaped the grasping clutches of the society who emphasized copied individuality and anti- originality. She is falling, so she can be erased from that horrible, insurmountable, never ceasing clique, leavin behind all she used to hold close, she falls, so she may rise and feel the zephyr of life, and begin anew, the way she should be.

my friend has been talking to me about Revelations, and other such things of the Bible. In class, we also discussed the discovery of Noah's Ark. Here's part 1 of the video. It's really cool, and I hope it brings you hope and faith. God is real. and He loves you. so much He gave His only Son to die for you. He rocks :)

Materials.
I love typing. I wish I could write a story, about a girl named Cadence. And just let the words flow. Flow flow. Flow. Flow. Flow. Flow. Flow. Ha, it’s fun to write flow. My mom is ticked at me. I’m not a very good sister. Flow. Lol, couldn’t go without writing flow.
Flow.
Flow.
Flow.
Flow.
Flow.
Float.
Away.
Far.
Away.
Bubbles, bubbles, buble?
Hmm.
I don’t know, why do I have to doubt? Why can’t I just put God first? Let Him control my life, He knows what’s best. My feelings inside all tangled and messed up.
I want to feel good again.
Strong again.
Confident again.
Love never failing again.
Happy again.
Joyful again.
Close to God again.
Flow. Teehee!
……..is anybody out there?....
Hello? Hello?
Broken hearts like promises are left for lesser knowns
Is anybody out there?
Alone? Alone?
From a lesser known I’m here, and there’s
HOPE.
There’s
…..hope.
I love Anberlin.

Happy Year New! hello everyone! I hope you've all had a great Christmas break. it ends in a day, so........ :'( i don't want to got back. i like sleeping until eleven. and reading books. ACTUAL. BOOKS. and crocheting to my heart's content all day long! plus, i have time in the morning to spend time with God. speaking of, my best friend got me a one year devotional book, so i can read one every day. which is so cool! i have a hard time making time for my Bible, so this can help with that. It also motivates me to make a special time every day for God and me. I was reading one today, and it was about Enoch and God. Look up verse Genesis 5:24. it says "Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away. the devotional went on to say that that God and Enoch were so close that God favored Enoch and because of that, Enoch was taken by God in a different way, instead of death. And the writer talks about how God and you should have closeness. And how you should discuss everything with God, tell God your hurts, basically talk with God about everything, and walk with Him! After I read that, it made me think that, God really is our friend. The writer wrote something like since God and Enoch were so close and so tightly knit, they were friends, and God asked Enoch to come home with Him and spend the night. and that really makes you see that God is not just some mighty deity who doesn't care about your problems and just wants to ruin your life. God is not cold, not mean. He is a loving God, who knows EVERYTHING. about you. inside and out. He loves you more than anyone on this earth can love you. He cares about what's going on in your life, just like your best friend down the street does. She loves to hang out with you, knows all your secrets, your little quirks, and stands up for you when noone else does, and supports you and comforts you in the hard times. God is just like that, but an infinity times better. God is a loving, caring God who wants to have a best friend relationship with you. No, you still have to respect God, i mean, come on, He's the Creator of the universe, and the Creator of you. He is your Father, and He deserves all of your respect. But you and God can still be bffs. God wants that close knit relationship with you. He wants you to whisper all of your secrets to Him, and call Him when something great happens, or something not so great. When you're lonely and need someone to talk to, look no further than your Heavenly Father! God loves you so much! Why not talk to Him tonight when you go to bed? Tell Him everything you did today. The good, the bad, the things that bothered you, the things that made you smile. God is always ready to listen. Just go to Him!